i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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