i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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