i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
