I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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