i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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