I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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