Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
