We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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