I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
