Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
