Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
