i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
