Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
