He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
