just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
