I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
