1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
