who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
