If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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