To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
