Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize