maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
