I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
