I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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