So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
