If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
