I wish my penis had an off switch
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
