I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
