he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
