I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
