That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
