I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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