Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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