my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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