Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
