Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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