Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im six kinds of drunk right now
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
