There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
