I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
