They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize