There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize