Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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