made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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