i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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