did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
