areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
