I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
