Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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