He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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