i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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