i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
