The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
