well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Let's paint friendship bongs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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