Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize