You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize