Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i drank out of a bidet.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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