We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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