On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
