Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
