now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
