I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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