My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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