I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
