honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
