check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
