Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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