and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
