Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
