I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
